Stephen jokes

What shampoo does Stephen Hawking use? Head & Shoulders.

Stephen Hawking said there is no God. God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand-up.

Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids. He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked "shut down" instead of "sleep".

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen can't walkie, and Stephen can't talkie.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Windows XP log-out sound.

I once dated a twin

Years ago I dated a twin.

My friend asked me 'how do you tell them apart?'

I explained 'Well, Rebecca has agreed to wear green nail polish every 2nd day...and Stephen has a dick'