Beach jokes

I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim.

The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.

I WON! I WON!

man comes rushing into his house, and yells to his wife: "honey, pack your bags! i won the lottery!!" the wife says: "oh my god! what should i pack for, the mountains or the beach?!?" the man replies: "i don't care, just get the fuck out!"

If you smoke seaweed on the beach...

...do you experience high tide?

Superman is flying around the world when he sees WonderWoman tanning on the beach....

He notices that she's naked and spread eagle and has a thought.

Superman: I bet I could fly down there and have sex with her and fly away before she even knew it. So like a depraved bastard he does exactly that and hears a conversation as he flies away.

Wonderwoman: Did you feel that strong gust of wind just now?

Invisible Man: Yeah, and on top of that my ass is killing me.

a Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach having a nice day

When out of nowhere, a huge wave comes and sweeps him out to sea.

She drops to her knees and pleads, "Please God, save my only grandchild. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.

And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.

She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"

I heard a guy at the beach screaming, "HELP! SHARK! HELP!"

I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn't going to help him.

A man walking on the beach stumbled on a bottle.

He picked it up and pulled the cork and a genie jumped out.

Genie: Thank you for freeing me. I will grant you one wish.

Man: I've heard this one, whatever I wish for will come back and bite me.

Genie: Nah man I won't do that. In fact if that happens I'll give you unlimited wishes for the rest of your life.

Man: Okay, I want a boomerang with teeth.