Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon
The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...
"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
A woman falls off of a ten story building...
...and a man on an eighth floor balcony reaches out and catches her in his arms.
"Do you fuck?", he asks.
"No!". she replied, and the man drops her.
On the sixth floor a man catches her and asks, "Do you suck?"
Again she says no and the man drops her.
On the fourth floor a man catches her and she immediately yells, "I FUCK! I SUCK!"
The man looks disgusted. "Slut!" and he drops her.
Christmas these days is a lot like having sex, the build up is great but when it finally comes, I always regret spending all that money.