Chemist jokes

People keep telling me that alcohol isn't a solution

but I've asked my chemist friends and they all reassure me that it is.

A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, everyone said he was crazy....

....but he was 0K.

What's the difference between a raver and a chemist at a club?

One drops acid while the other drops the base.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask him to pronounce "unionized"

Chemists in a pub

After a long day, two chemists, Bill and Bob, go to a pub to unwind. Bob says to the barkeeper, "I'll just have a glass of H^2 0." Bill chimes in, "I'll have a glass of water too". They take a seat as he asks Bob, "Why did you refer to water with its chemical composition?" Bob did not answer, fuming that his assassination attempt had failed.