My girlfriend just freaked me out...
she gave me a blow job but insisted on role playing as a 12 year old.Fucking weird and gross. I was like "You're going to be 12 in a couple of months, what's the rush?
Couple jokes
Bus
I was riding the bus when I got tapped on the shoulder...
An old lady says to me, “Would you like a nut?”
I chuckled and said, “Sure, thanks.”
A couple of minutes after eating the nut, another tap on the shoulder. “Would you like another nut?”
Well, after eating a couple more nuts from the old gal I finally turned around and asked her, “Why do you have nuts if you keep giving them to me?”
She replied, “I only like the chocolate around them.”