Diet jokes

I just started a diet. Here's a recap of Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house

It was delicious

Gandhi often walked barefoot wich produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet

He also ate very little making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

So there was a monk...

This particular monk could only eat garlic for his religious diet, which made him EXTREMELY weak, and also gave him bad breath. Also, like most other monks he wore no shoes, which gave him many callouses. This made him a "super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis."

Erect your ears for this one

A woman asks her husband to start taking those pills that will help him achieve an erection. He agrees. The next day, she asks if he got the pills. "Picked 'em up today. Here you go honey," and tosses her a bottle of diet pills

How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant?

Only one cannoli.

What do robots eat on a diet?

Microchips.