Kyiv jokes

Soldier

Soldier

A joke from Kyiv.

A Russian soldier calls home from Ukraine.

- Did you take Kyiv? - No. - Did you take Harkiv? - No - What did you take then? - A blender, a washing machine and two fur coats

Putin

Putin

Putin dies and goes to hell

After a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.

So he decides to visit Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

-Is Crimea ours?

-Yes, it is.

-And the Donbas?

-Also ours.

-And Kyiv?

-We got that too.

Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink, and asks:

-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros