Last name jokes

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer

I saw it through my telescope last night.

If someone has the Last Name "Smith" then that means that one of their ancestors was likely a Blacksmith.

Which kinda puts John Dickinson in an awkward position.

A Man Walks into His Home

He calls out to his wife, "Honey, why are there two broken condoms sitting on the couch?"

His wife replies, exasperated, "For the last time, can you please call our children by their actual names?"

Fortune Teller

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night I fucked a girl named Penny - is that spooky or what?

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

It’s just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during sex.

I accidentally shouted out my sister’s name last week...

My mum was not happy!

Not bragging, but I made six figures last year,

so they named me the year's worst employee at the toy factory.

Some last names originate from what the family did in the past...

Makes you wonder about the Dickinsons...

Two older couples were having breakfast.

Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night

Old man 2: What's its name?

Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower?

Old man 2: Carnation?

Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns.

Old man 2: Rose?

Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?