Line jokes

The Lego store near my house just reopened after lockdown...

People were lining up for blocks.

what is 40 feet long and only has 3 teeth?

The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair.

A woman is in a coma and her nurses are giving her a sponge bath

They notice when they get near her lower area that her vital signs improve a little. They think oral sex may bring her out of her coma. They go in the waiting room and tell her husband their theory and assure him they will have complete privacy. The nurses leave and come back 15 minutes later and the woman is flat-lined. What happened?? Yelled the nurse. Her husband replies, I don't know...I think she choked.

This joke has no punch line

But you might get a kick out of it

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.

Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.

What do you call a redheaded gentleman from a long line of redheads?

A ginger bred man.

My neighbor just got arrested for growing pot plants

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

This morning at the bank, while I was in line, two people with masks entered...there was TOTAL PANIC..

Then they said: “This is a robbery”...and we all calmed down...

A woman purchases an antique mirror...

in front of the mirror she playfully says " mirror mirror on the door, make my bust-line fourty four " and her breasts grew to enourmous proportions. She quickly ran to grab her husband and he decided to try it " mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" and his legs fell off

A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."

I hate waiting in lines... I wish this woman...

...would hurry up and pick a suspect.

Fuck cheesy chat-up lines, We need better break-up lines:

Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back. Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship? I didn't know angels flew this close to the ground. Maybe that's because this angel's gained a little weight since we started going out. You and me love, we're like six balls in cricket. OVER! I'm leaving you on religious grounds. I've decided to become a Jew, and you're a fucking pig.

I'd tell you the one about the Jonestown Massacre, BUT...

The punch line's too long.

What do you call a line at the gay bar?

An LGBT queue.

Parallel lines have so much in common...

It's a shame they'll never meet.

Limericks by Jenny

There was a young woman named Jenny

Whose limericks were not worth a penny.

Oh, the rhyme was all right,

And the meter was tight,

But whenever she tried to write any,

She always wrote one line too many.