Joke jokes

I have a scary joke about math

But I'm 2^2 to tell it.

I have a lot of anti-vax jokes

In my family

A Holocaust survivor passed away, went to heaven, and told God a Holocaust joke

God: Holocaust jokes aren’t funny

Holocaust Survivor: I guess you had to be there

Your mom is so slow

It took her nine months to make a joke

Reading all these jokes makes me go numb...

But reading mathematics-related jokes makes me go number

In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.

Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!

poof

His penis touches the floor.

His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

(One of my favorite jokes for my cakeday)

My dad: *makes that's what she said joke* me: stop I'm only 10

My dad: thats what she said

I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID.

But, no one else would get it.

Did you read the joke about the waiters that ran into each other?

I couldn't, the servers crashed.

Can a Mongolian make you laugh?

Genghis Kahn.

(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people look both ways before they start...

Have you heard the joke about paper?

Never mind, it’s tearable.

Perfect on the spot SFW joke

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

A judge in Soviet Russia walks out of a courtroom giggling to himself.

Another judge stops him and asks what's so funny.

"Oh man, I just heard this joke about Comrade Stalin in my courtroom."

"I wan't to hear it" says the second judge.

The first judge says, "No way, I just gave someone 25 years in the gulag for it."

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!

So my 6yo tells me a joke

What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me something smells!

In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters

Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"

Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."

Waiter: "I'm sorry?"

Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

I'd tell you a joke about healthcare...

...but the Americans would struggle to get it.