Milk Order
A milkman gets an order for 40 gallons of milk. Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake.
When he knocks on the door, a woman comes out wearing just a bath towel, and she confirms that she wants 40 gallons. "Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman.
"Oh, OK," replies the milkman. "Do you need it pasteurized then?"
"No," says the woman. "Up to my tits will be fine."
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says they've invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it's okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until the machine is at 100%. The man still feels nothing, so they go home happy until they find the milkman dead on the porch.