Party jokes

A proud father has six children.

He always calls his wife "Mother of Six," to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mother of six, we're leaving now."

She replies, "Be right with you, father of four."

Back in the U.S.S.R.

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart. In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?"

"I'll be Bach"

Got in trouble at a gender reveal party today

Apparently pulling my pants down is not what they had in mind.

Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he’s dressed up as and he responds “I’m a snail!”

That’s M’Shell on my back

So I'm fucking this guy in the ass, right?

... and I'm fucking him, and I'm fucking him ...

... and I'm fucking him ...

... and then I reach around, and he's ***HARD***.

And I'm like ***SHIT THIS GUY IS A FAG!***

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I like to tell that one whenever the conversation stops at a party.

From my 7 y/o

What do you call a bunch of hairdressers having a party?

A Barber-cue

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children enter the dining room totally nude and walk slowly around the table.

The parents are so embarrassed that they pretend nothing is happening and keep the conversation going. The guests cooperate and also continue as if nothing extraordinary is happening. After going all the way around the room the children leave, and there is a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the children is heard saying, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”

My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24

What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.

I invited my buddy to a costume party and he said he was going as his dad

He didn’t show up

What did Tommy get when his birthday party was held during the epidemic?

Arrested

I went to a gender reveal party.

It wasn't quite what I thought it would be.

My host told me to put my pants back on and get the hell out of there.

Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?

At a fancy dinner party, a man turns to a woman and suddenly says:

- Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?

The woman giggles.

- Of course I would!

- How about doing it for fifteen dollars?

The woman looks disgusted.

- Why, what kind of woman do you think I am?

- That’s already been established. Now we’re just haggling about the price.