A rich guy and his poor drinking buddy were at the bar before Christmas...
The rich guy, making small talk, goes
"So I got my wife a new diamond ring and a BMW for Christmas. That way if she doesn't like the ring, at least she'll still love the Beemer!"
The poor guy goes:
"Huh, well I got my wife a pair of pantyhose and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the pantyhose, she can go fuck herself."
(Thanks Dad.)
I am transfinancial
I am a rich guy trapped in the body of a poor guy
What’s considered trashy if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?
Manipulating the stock market
A joke I translated from Russian
A pauper is sitting by a road in medieval England. All of a sudden, Robin Hood comes out of the forest, throws a bag of gold at the pauper's feet and says, "I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
The pauper tears up, embraces Robin Hood and says, "I am finally rich." Robin Hood then stabs the pauper with his sword,
"I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
How did the pharaoh get so rich?
He was running a huge pyramid scheme.
Rich friend and a poor friend meet a day before Valentine's Day
Poor man asks - What did you buy for your wife for valentines?
Rich man - A Mercedes C class and a diamond necklace
Poor man - why a necklace ?
Rich man - so if she doesn't like the car she can return it and keep the necklace, what did you get for yours ?
Poor man - a pair of slippers and a dildo
Rich man - why a dildo?
Poor man - so if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.
Genie: What is your first wish?
Steve: I want to be rich. Genie: Wish granted. What is your second wish? Rich: I want a lot of money.
If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy"
Credit to my friend Chris
My friend is so rich
He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician
I'm halfway towards my goal of becoming filthy rich.
Now I just have to have to figure out the rich part.
100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses.
The stables have turned