Seconds jokes

2 nuns go for a bicycle ride around the Vatican.

The first nun says "I've never come this way before." The second nun says "yeah, must be the cobblestones."

The Atlanta falcons just came out and said they won the Super Bowl

until the illegal second half was played.

It’s the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, “And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women’s dorms past eight o'clock at night, it’s fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.”

One pledge raises his hand and asks, “How much for a season pass?”

What does a prostitute and a bungee jump have in common?

They both cost a lot, last 5 seconds, and if the rubber splits you're fucked.

Two economists are walking in the park.

The first economist sees a pile of dog shit and says to the other, "I'll pay you $50 to eat that dog shit." So he does and gets paid $50. Later on, the second economist sees a pile of dog shit and says to the first, "I'll pay you $50 to eat that pile of dog shit." So he does and gets paid $50.

The first economist says, "I can't help but feel we just ate dog shit for nothing." "Nonsense," says the second economist, "We just contributed $100 to the economy."