Texan

A Texan got accepted to Harvard

A week before classes started, he decided to tour the campus to see where everything was. After a while he got lost, so he went up to a professor and asked "Do you know where the library's at?"

The professor replies, "Sorry, here at Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions."

After a few seconds of thinking, the Texan asks, "Where's the library at, asshole?"

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London

The waiter tells them, "Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"