A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog shit on my carpet and said, "Sir, if this vacuum can't clean it completely, I'll eat whatever's left."
I said, "I hope you're hungry 'cause they cut off the electricity this morning."
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch, thinking that their wife should be really happy.
I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.
Well, it was just collecting dust.
Relativity theory
In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.