Aliens

I found an alien masturbating in my freezer last night. I asked him what on earth he was doing in there.

He said, “I cum in peas.”

Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews.. only 1 star

Aliens are probably monitoring our media.

98% of the internet is porn. Maybe they're not giving us anal probes. They're just trying to speak our language.

We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a priest?

Alien vs predator

How do redneck aliens abduct people?

Tractor beam

Just been chatting to my neighbor's teenage daughter

It turns out she's really into aliens and UFOs

Which is cool because tommorow she's getting abducted