Company jokes

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?

Because Ubisoft is in France.

An Atheist and a Christian walk into a bar...

...they proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they're not pretentious assholes

I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!

I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.

Sam walks into his boss’s office.

“Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.

“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”

“The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Sam replied.

I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.

1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day 2. I run for an hour before breakfast 3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up. 4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something. 5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it. 6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company. 7. I meditate every day

The companies that dropped Johnny Depp must really regret their decisions

They shouldn't have followed the Heard