Condom jokes

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore...

A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

I went to a pharmacy and asked for 50 condoms..

I was about to pay for it when I heard 2 girls laughing at me.

I looked at them straight in the eye and said, "Make that 52."

Now both of them have condom balloons :D

The pretty teacher was concerned with

one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love." the boy replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"

"With you!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

My dad showed me a thirty minute PowerPoint on why one should always wear a condom

It was just pictures of me

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.