A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.
The guy behind the counter says, “Male or female ?”
The customer says, “Female.”
The counter guy asks, “Black or white?”
The customer says, “White.”
The counter guy asks, “Christian or Muslim?”
The customer says, “What does religion have to do with it?”
The counter guy says, “The Muslim one blows itself up.”
I went to a hotel to ask for a room and the lady at the counter told me that all the rooms were full. I told her my name was "Improvement".
And there's always a room for improvement.
Joke told in the Soviet Union
(For context only 1/7 Soviets owned a car, and once you paid up front there was a 10 year wait to get one)
A man walks into the car store wanting to buy a car. He pays the man at the counter and the man at the counter says “Alright, just come back in 10 years to pick one up.” The man replies “Morning or afternoon?” The dealer says “Well, 10 years from now what difference does it make?” The man replies “Well, the plumbers coming over in the morning.”
Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree
The guy behind the counter said "Are you going to put it up yourself?" My dad said, "Don't be disgusting. I'm going to put it in the living room."
Clock Shop
So a guy walks into a clock shop and whips out his dick. The young lady working the counter tells him, "This is a clock shop, not a cock shop." So the man says, "Well put two hands and a face on it."
A lady walked Into a pharmacy and spoke with the pharmacist
She asks the pharmacist if he has viagra. "I sure do" he responds. "Does it actually work?". "Of course it does." He responds. "Can you get it over the counter?" She asks.
"I can if I take two".
Gandhi
Did you know that Gandhi used to have hot young women sleep naked in his bed with him? The idea was that he could conquer his baser desires and prove his self-control by abstaining from sex with them.
I tried a similar thing by leaving half a box of Double Stuff Oreos on my counter, and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m pretty sure Gandhi banged every single one of those chicks.
Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album
The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."
Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."
Dirty Blonde
A blonde walks into a dry cleaners and tells the woman at the counter, "I need to have an outfit washed."
The clerk was busy and slightly distracted, so she looked up from her work and said, "Come again?"
The blonde said, "No, it's toothpaste this time."