Cover jokes

What do a thong bikini and Donald's Trump's hair have in common.

They both barely cover the asshole. (gota give Seth Myer credit for this one).

Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

Me and my friend are going to form a band called 'the duvets'

Mainly going to be a cover band

What did the penis say to the condom?

"Cover me, I'm going in."

I want to start a company that makes both coffins and condoms

The slogan would be:" We've got you covered whether you cuming or going"

What does a spy do when they go to bed?

They go under cover

What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper?

A seasoned veteran

Your essays should be like a girls skirt.

Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting and on the desk by Friday midnight.

A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner

"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"

His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."

The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"

An Irish man is pulled from a burning bar..

He is completely covered in soot and smells strongly of smoke. When asked about how the fire started the man says "damned if I know, the place was in blazes when I got 'ere!"