Execution jokes

An English soldier is captured by the French and is sentenced to execution

Unfortunately for him, screaming “mercy” at the top of his lungs only hastened the process.

Car company executives must have the best memories in the world

because GM recalls everything.

Programming jokes are fun...

... but only when executed properly.

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.

“Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

My wife told me she wanted me to treat her like a queen.

So I had her executed with the guillotine for betraying the revolution and promoting undemocratic, outdated ideas.

Long live the republic!