Memory

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

Are people born with photographic memories?

Or do they take a while to develop?

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child. So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of playboy nude calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"

But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.

Car company executives must have the best memories in the world

because GM recalls everything.

Not saying my Ex was fat

But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

I shit my pants the other day.

Which is funny, because I don't remember eating them.

I was gonna make a joke about memory loss

I think

How much memory does it take to store a joke?

1 Gigglebyte.

What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space.

Successful

Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.

The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down." "The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back." "The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Ted Cruz left the Navy 9/11 memorial service early...

He only had time to meet a handful of semen.

I don't like my computer memory.

Not one bit.

So I bought a memory foam pillow second-hand

Got it for a good price, all was good until I laid down and it said "who the f@#k are you?"

A child asked Santa Claus

“How did your reindeer get their names?”

Santa replied, “I named them after memories, like pranced frolicking through the snow!”

“What about Donner?” the child asked.

A shadow settled on Santa’s face, and after a moment he began: “The year was 1847, and snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada ....”

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.

Two older couples were having breakfast.

Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night

Old man 2: What's its name?

Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower?

Old man 2: Carnation?

Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns.

Old man 2: Rose?

Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?