Feet jokes

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose

Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people

Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?"

Bartender says "Three feet tall."

Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"

A woman places an ad looking for a man to be her lover

The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed."

A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I’m Dave. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no feet so I won’t run away."

"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.

Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"

Old people love

My grandma rubbed butter on granddad's feet when he was ill. He went downhill fast after that.