Girlfriend jokes

I hate it when guys call their girlfriends their "partner in crime". Like we get it dude she's underage

I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filled with tears. "Great!" I said.

"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"

My girlfriend once used Vaseline when she gave me a handjob . .

I came four or five times trying to wash it off.