Glasses jokes

My grandmother is 80 and still doesn't need glasses

She drinks out of the bottle...

a man gets pulled over by a cop, and is asked for his license

officer: it says on your license that you need to be wearing glasses. driver: i have contacts. officer: i don't give a fuck who you know, buddy.

Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?

Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.

To the person who stole my glasses...

I will find you. I have contacts.

English lord to his servant: James a glass of water please. Here you are sir. Thank you James. Another glass of water please. Sure sir, here you are. Thank you, James.

James, please call the firemen, I don't think we can put out this fire on our own.