Goat jokes

Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...

I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...

ba dum tss

What's 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?

Chicago

If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15.

Did you make a prophet?

In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices....

Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden...

A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."

What's the shortest organ in a goat?

An ISIS member's dick.

Two goats are eating garbage

The first one finds a roll of film and eats it.

When he's done, the second one asks, "how did you like the movie?"

The first one responds, "it was OK, but I liked the book better."

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."