A tourist goes to see Beethoven's grave in Austria
And, to his shock, he sees the great musician seated next to his grave, erasing pieces of paper with his symphonies written on them.
The tour guide leans over to his visibly startled guest and says, "Don't worry, he does this all the time. He's decomposing."
Me as a server in a restaurant: "Do you wanna box for the rest of this food?"
Guest says yes, so I start to put on my gloves
Who cares if you pee in the shower?
The bride and all her guests, apparently.
During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children enter the dining room totally nude and walk slowly around the table.
The parents are so embarrassed that they pretend nothing is happening and keep the conversation going. The guests cooperate and also continue as if nothing extraordinary is happening. After going all the way around the room the children leave, and there is a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the children is heard saying, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
Albert Einstein was running 20 minutes late as a guest speaker at a science conference.
He finally arrived apologizing profusely.
Einstein: "I am so terribly sorry you all had to wait. Anyway, here's my presentation."
Host: "It's about time."
Einstein: "And space!"