Back in the U.S.S.R.
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart. In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"
It’s just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during sex.
I accidentally shouted out my sister’s name last week...
My mum was not happy!
Buck was selling his car and and girl name Kelly was interested in buying it. He said it’s $4,000. She thought a minute and said, “How about $3000 and a blow job?” He said that sounds great . . .
He was happy he got the Kelly Blew Buck price.
Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three
He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.
I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights
He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy." I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost?
Boooooooobs!
You’re welcome.
Happy Halloween everybody!
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."