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I have an image of Jesus that pops up on my laptop if I leave it idle for 10 minutes...

It's my screen savior...

The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

I bought a porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of some fat cunt sitting there holding his cock.

Then I realised the TV wasn't on.