Leaf

I used to get sad when the leaves fell from the trees...

But then they always grew back, so that was a releaf.

Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?

Because you shouldn’t press your luck.

A man walks into the doctor's office and immediately drops his pants....

The doctor sees a small leaf of lettuce hanging from the man's anus. (Rather redundantly) he asks "What seems to be the problem here?" "Oh doc," the man replies, "that's just the tip of the iceberg."

What does a Maple Leafs fan do after his team wins the Stanley Cup?

Turns off the Playstation and goes to bed.

Too soon?

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best.

Winter: Well you can build snowmen, and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!

Spring: Well sure but come springtime everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!

Summer: yes but I am undoubtably the overall best season, girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn what do you have to offer?

Autumn: * leaves *

Today I ran out of toilet paper and had to resort to lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg.