The pilot gets ready for the flight
"Alright everyone, we will be taking off in a minute, please remain seated.", he says. After taking off, the pilot forgot the microphone on. "Know what I want now?", says the co-pilot, "a cup of coffee and a woman to suck my dick". Noticing the problem with the mic, one of the attendants bolts off to warn them. While she ran, someone on the back seats yells "Don't forget the coffee!"
After the safety talk in the airplane the pilot forgets to turn off the microphone...
He turns to his copilot and says: "I'm gonna take a dump and then I'm gonna fuck that smoking hot stewardess." When the stewardess realizes what's going on she starts to sprint to the front to warn the pilot that his mic is still on but trips and falls. A passenger turns to her and says: "Calm down, he's taking a dump first."
I feel sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night...
He had 7 dudes on stage, all hypnotized, then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled "F*** ME". What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my days.
A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar
While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted
" Why do you even think that gravity is real? "
Speaker dropped the mic.