Nobody jokes

How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cheeseburger?

One if nobody's looking.

My dad died recently.

He was in an accident and lost a lot of blood but nobody knew his blood-type.

I’ll never forget his inspirational last words,

“Be positive”.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose ?

Nobody knows

What's the difference between your dick and a joke?

Nobody laughs at your jokes.