Police man jokes

Students at M.I.T. recently developed a new contender for the blackest material known to man...

Scientists attempted to demonstrate it in public, but it was immediately shot by the police.

UK police today arrested a man for shooting a starting pistol at someone.

They are treating the offence as race related.

A man walks into a gym and kills everyone there brutally

After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded

A man attempting to piss in public is apprehended by a police officer...

The officer asks him, "Sir, do you realize this is against the law?"

The man replies, "No, sir, it's against the wall."

I am a man who loves to give women breakfast in bed. All I want to receive in return is a simple "Thank you!"...

...not "Who are you?", "How did you get in here?", and "I'll call the police!"

I punched a white man in the face and was arrested for assault..

The next day when I got out, I punched a black man in the face and was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

A man gets kicked out of police camp for writing "Who's that Pokémon" next to chalk outlines.

A police man searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.

"its not my fault", I said, "Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he said

I said, "I'll Prove it to you if you want me to!"

"Go on than." he smiled, handing me the bag.

After flushing them, he looked at me and said,

"Well, show me your pocket than."

"What for?" I asked

He said, "The drugs."

I said, "What drugs?"

A frightened man came to the KGB. "My talking parrot has disappeared."

"That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police."

"Excuse me, of course I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."

Mafia have boiled a man to death in a industrial pasta cooker.

Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally

caught him by the organ.

News just in of a honeymooner killed in a shark attack off the Perth Coast. The man had been married very recently. A police spokesman said

Fortunately the man did not suffer too much as he had only been married 5 days

A man is sitting in the dock at court.

The judge asks the man for his occupation. "I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies. "And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires. "I was making a bolt for the door".

A man and his wife are arguing, the man says it's going to rain, the woman says it isn't.

"Let's ask Rudolph, the communist police officer"says the man

"It might, the sky is pretty cloudy" says the policeman

The man turns to his wife and says: "See, Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"

An alcoholic wakes up in jail

He asks the first police officer he sees "why am I here?"

the officer replies "for drinking"

The man replies "great, when do we start?"