A young naive couple get married NSFW
After the reception they head back to the hotel, get undressed and are simply standing facing each other.
‘This isn’t right’, the husband Dave says, ‘Let me call my dad’.
His dad tells him he’s an idiot and all he needs to do it stick the hardest part of his body into where she pisses.
A few minutes later the dad gets another call, but this time it’s the daughter in law and she’s hysterical
‘You gotta come here quick. Dave’s got his head stuck in the toilet!’
I just got back from the funeral of my 82 year old neighbour who died after falling off his roof when fixing his TV antenna.
The funeral was sad, but the reception was excellent.
"I'll do whatever I can for my constituents"
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the village headman. "First, we have a hospital but no doctor."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while, and then said, "I have it sorted out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cellphone reception at all in our village."
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
The D.J. at a wedding reception yelled, "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
