Roman jokes

I asked my Roman friend for a high five

Got HIV instead

I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I’M LIVID.

One day during a war....

A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.

Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."

The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wilt, O Roman, but spare our faithful old nurse."

"Shut thy mouth," snapped the old nurse. "War is war."

What's this "✌"?

A Roman ordering 5 more beers.

joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you.

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half?

With a pair of Caesars!

Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation..

Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with

Roman 2: mmm?

Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many

Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?

Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum.

But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.

A roman guy walks into a bar, lifts two fingers and says:

"I'll take five beers"

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.

"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."