Shell

I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster

Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.

I heard the titanic got a new job...

She sells sea shells down by the sea floor.

I hear it's a pretty high pressure job.

I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell...

It only made it more sluggish.

Day 173 without sex

Threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it's like to get hit from behind.

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?

She outgrew her B-shells.