Snail

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they don't like fast food.

I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster

Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.

A snail went to the police station to report that he had been mugged.

He said "I've been robbed by two tortoises"

The desk officer said "Can you describe the incident"

The snail replied "No not really it all happened so fast "

I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell...

It only made it more sluggish.

Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he’s dressed up as and he responds “I’m a snail!”

That’s M’Shell on my back