Wittle Wabbit
little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."
A man enters an animal shop, and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of it's legs...
The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:
- If you pull the right leg rope, he's gonna greet you in French, and if you pull the left leg rope, he'll greet you in German
- And what about, if i pull both simultaneously? - asks the man.
- Well, he...
Suddenly the parrot interrupts him:
- I will fall down, you idiot!
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot.
The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays the $15. When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs. When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laugh too. When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"