Stool

I met a guy who's a carpenter, he told me he makes stools.

'Me too' I says 'but they're all shit'

A Man and a Giraffe walk into a bar...

They sit down and order shot after shot after shot. Eventually, the giraffe passes out falling off his stool. As the man gets up to leave, the bartender says "hey you can't just leave that lyin' there!" The man responds, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

How do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?

You flip it over.

why does a milking stool only have three legs

because cows have the udder

As a gentleman, I asked my date if I could push in her stool...

She said “let’s see how the date goes first”

What does violent diarrhoea and a bar fight have in common?

Blood on your stool

An old man doesn't feel well...

So he and his wife go to the doctors office. When they meet with the doctor he says "We need to do a full workup and run some tests. I'm going to need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample". The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and says "eh?". His wife just rolls her eyes and says "Frank, just give him your underwear!"