Survey jokes

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes.

Women say the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

A researcher carrying out a phone survey on marital sex...

phoned one of the participants to check on a discrepancy. He asked the husband: "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse, you answered 'once a week,' but your wife answered 'several times a night.'"

"That's correct," said the husband. "And that's the way it's going to be until the mortgage is paid off."

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

We conducted an online survey....

...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.