Weekend

I think weekends are made in China

They don't last very long, and they take forever to arrive.

I hosted a terrible orgy last weekend

Nobody came

I visited my granddaughter last weekend.

I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century", she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.".

Well I can tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him.