Addiction jokes

I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid....

I can stop any time I want.

If I was addicted to masturbation and then I got addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to assume my addiction got out of hand?

My friends and family swear I’m addicted to cocaine, but I’m not.

I just like the smell.

I used to be addicted to hokey pokey

But I turned myself around.

My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

**Wife:** whatever means necessary.

**Me:** No it doesn't.

My friend's worried he's addicted to playing guitar

I told him not to fret but he says he can't help it

My friend is addicted to buying ladders

He uses them to get high.

I used to be heavily addicted to soap...

Don’t worry, I’m clean now.

My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

I need help with my sex addiction...

I tried fucking everything!

Whats the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only two more sleeps until christmas.