A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap
He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
“What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
What do you call a blond that dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence
A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis
His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk. Later, his blonde wife comes home and finds him with his dick in a saucer of cold milk.
"Good heavens!" she remarks "I always wondered how you reloaded those things!"
A blonde sees a another blonde across a lake and asks "How do I get to the other side?" the other blonde replies...
"You are on the other side".
Online classified ad
Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.
Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....
Nevermind.
Why do blonds have schools underwater.
Because deep down, they're not so stupid.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch
The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"
The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest" *Poof!* the brunette disappears.
The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest" *Poof!* the redhead disappears.
The blonde says, "I think..." *Poof!*
A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde
The police officer asks the blonde, "Can I see you license and registration, please?". The blonde then asked, "What is that?", the police officer says, "That thing with your face on it", the blonde then pulls a mirror out of her purse, and hands it to the police officer. The police officer then says, "Oh, my bad, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
Beer
This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of "Bud Light" cheap.
I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She glanced at the two boxes of beer, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"
I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"
What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, there's a live grenade in her mouth.
Blonde Joke of the day
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D
Dirty Blonde
A blonde walks into a dry cleaners and tells the woman at the counter, "I need to have an outfit washed."
The clerk was busy and slightly distracted, so she looked up from her work and said, "Come again?"
The blonde said, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a blonde, a duck and a horse walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "is this some kind of joke?"
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
Two blondes fall into a well
The first one says “wow it’s really dark in here” the other says “really? I can’t see anything.”
A guy wanks into a bar.
He sees two stunningly beautiful blondes and says,
"Hey, barman, two beers for the ladies."
One of the ladies turns to the guy and asks.
"I think you're wasting your time, sir. We're lesbians."
"What's that?" asks the guy.
"It means we only like to have sex with women" the girl responds.
To which the guy retorts: "Hey barman, three beers for us lesbians."
I had a little car accident
On the way home from work, I had a little car accident, I braked hard, but still hit the car in front of me. A cute blond got out and shouted "Ram me up the arse why don't you"?.
This, your Honour, is where the confusion began.....
9 Blondes and 1 Brunette are holding onto the wing of a weighed down rapidly descending aircraft.
They all realize one must let go to save the rest of them.
The plane is about 1000 meters away from crashing, when the brunette starts to say that she will heroicly let go of the wing of the plane to save the 9 others.
She gets a few a tears and cries of “Nooo” but as she finishes, all the Blondes clap.