The pilot gets ready for the flight
"Alright everyone, we will be taking off in a minute, please remain seated.", he says. After taking off, the pilot forgot the microphone on. "Know what I want now?", says the co-pilot, "a cup of coffee and a woman to suck my dick". Noticing the problem with the mic, one of the attendants bolts off to warn them. While she ran, someone on the back seats yells "Don't forget the coffee!"
After sex, my wife told me I deserve a Gold Medal for my performance,
for breaking Usain Bolt's record and finishing under 10 seconds.
I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts.....
The plot was riveting!
What does a robot do after sex?
Nuts and bolts
Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, raped a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away?
The newspaper headlines the next day read:
#**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#
All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together
At first it's boring, then it's riveting.
I adopted a dog from a blacksmith today..
First thing he did when i got him home was make a bolt for the door.
What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?
He screws, nuts, and bolts
A man is sitting in the dock at court.
The judge asks the man for his occupation. "I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies. "And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires. "I was making a bolt for the door".
I tried to kidnap a blacksmith, but when I turned my back ...
... he made a bolt for the door.