So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
$1,000 worth of products were stolen from a Games Workshop today
Police are looking for a book and three pots of paint.
143 year old troll
I found this history text book from 1873 at a flea market today, and it’s super old school. On page 23, there is a thing that says “look on page 150” in pencil in the top margin- so I go to page 150 and the guy had written “you are a fool for looking”. Fuckin got me bro. Trolled me 143 years in the future good for him.
Two goats are eating garbage
The first one finds a roll of film and eats it.
When he's done, the second one asks, "how did you like the movie?"
The first one responds, "it was OK, but I liked the book better."
Saw a book on how to resolve 50% of your problems
I bought two
Hi, I would like to book a doctors appointment please....
Receptionist: Sure thing, How about 11 tomorrow?
Man: No thanks, just one will be fine.
In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.
The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.
A father bought a lie detector which hit people when they lied.
His young son said, “I have no naughty books!”
The machine quickly hit him.
His father saw that and scolded his son, “When I was your age, I didn’t have such books!”
The machine quickly hit him.
The mother saw what happened and laughed and said, “Oh, you are truly father and son!”
The machine quickly hit her.