Branch jokes

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.

My dad told me this is why different branches of the military have so much trouble communicating.

They all have different vocabulary. For instance; "Secure that building."

Tell a marine that and he'll go kill everyone inside.

Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests.

Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors.

Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy.

Did you hear about the lumberjack who got a promotion?

Now he's a branch manager.

What's the only branch of the government that actually listens to its people?

NSA