As a lumberjack starts his chainsaw he hears the tree begin to cry. “Please don’t cut me down!” The tree pleads, “I’ll do anything!” The lumberjack says, “Fine! If you can solve this impossible riddle that has fooled some of the greatest minds from doctors, writers to philosophers, I’ll spare you.”
The tree was stumped.
A lumberjack goes into a forest to chop down a tree. "Wait," says the tree, "I'm a talking tree."
The lumberjack smiles and says, "And you will dialogue."
What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common?
They're both tree fellers.
Paddy got a job as a lumberjack
but try as he might, he couldn't meet his quota of fifty trees a day. By chance he saw an ad in a shop window for chainsaws 'guaranteed to fell 60 trees a day'. So he bought one, but the best he could manage was forty trees a day. So he took it back to the shop and complained that there must be something wrong with it. "Let me look at it", said the man in the shop. So he took the chainsaw and switched it on. "What's that noise?" said Paddy?
Did you hear about the lumberjack who got a promotion?
Now he's a branch manager.
A lumberjack once told me he’s cut down 27,572 trees.
“How do ya know exactly how many?” I inquired.
“Easy. I keep a log.”