Crow

Fun fact

Before the invention of the crow bar most crows got drunk at home

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.

My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted murder.

What do you call a group of crows who see food?

A tempted murder.

I'll see myself out now.

If I owned a race horse, I would name it My Face

Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY FACE!"

"...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"

If the stork brings good babies, and the crow brings bad babies, what brings no babies?

The swallow

I witnessed an attempted murder earlier...

Luckily only one crow showed up...