Cent jokes

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

If i had a pound for every 'Brexit' joke on here...

I'd still only have about 5 cents.

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the guy starts downing them. By the 5th one the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?"

The man says, "You'd drink this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender, now curious, asks, "What do you have?"

The man pauses, then replies, "75 cents."

A kid comes up to me to show me a nickel he had just found...

He then says he could tell my fortune if I gave him a penny. I gave him a penny and he told me my fortune, “You are going to laugh within the next few minutes.” Confused, I asked how he could know this. He held out his hand with the coins in his palm and said, “I’ve got this sixth cents.” He was right, I did laugh.

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

I hate that ATMs don't dispense coins.

It just doesn't make cents.

A kid is selling lemonade...

The boy’s sign reads “1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1

A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade. "25 cents", says the kid.

The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.

As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢... Maybe lemonade stands aren’t your thing."

"I guess you're right" says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.

"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"

"One dollar." answered little Johnny.

"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."

Do you know what 50 cents did when he got hungry?

58

Woman get 77 cents for every dollar a man earns.

Well, at least men get to keep the 23 cents.